Some common mistakes people make when choosing life partners . There are some couples who have no business living together and having children just because they felt it was the correct thing to do.
Some men are still tied to their mothers’ apron strings that they don’t know what it means to leave and cleave. They still insist that their mothers run their homes and relegate their wives to the background.
There are women who just got married not because they are matured enough to withstand the pressures of being in a relationship but because they felt menopause was approaching and they need to have children.
Whatever the inappropriate reasons you chose when you decided to get married, making mistakes when choosing a spouse has wrecked many lives and destroyed promising futures.
Sometimes, when you are single, you may become frustrated. You may start feeling like that the couples around you have figured out the secret of happy marriages. You might look at people who are happily married with envy and wonder how people in unhappy marriages ended up there.
Choosing a life partner is a complicated task. It can determine your perpetual state of happiness or unhappiness for many years. If you end up with a bad spouse, you will live in misery.
It is sad that as important as it is to choose a good spouse, people are still making mistakes consciously and subconsciously while making one of the biggest decisions of their life.
One of the mistakes people make while choosing life partners is not knowing what they want from a relationship. It can be hard to know what exactly you seek from a relationship when you haven’t been in many serious relationships and lack the experience to understand what you truly want from the relationship.
As a single person, it is really tough to know what your relationship needs are. So it’s easy for you to choose a life partner when you think you want one thing but in actuality, you want something else and this can cause problems for both of you in the future.
Another mistake is believing too much in romance and romance stories. Society teaches people to put too much faith in romance. Ladies want to be swept off their feet like the characters they read about in different novels. And if things don’t happen the way they expect them to after watching romance movies and reading romance novels, they believe they are with the wrong guy.
Let me burst your bubble, real life love stories will contradict what you believe about love and romance. You don’t have to throw away a good guy because he doesn’t talk and behave like the characters you read about in your romance novels.
Guys, you don’t have to condemn yourselves to a lifetime of misery by going for women society tells you are the best kinds of women. You don’t have to dump that lady who can make your life and future peaceful for one who knows how to please society but is inconsiderate, fake and pretentious.
This society compels you to choose a partner from the small pool of people around you. You are expected to choose your spouse from your church or mosque, from your tribe or from your circle of friends.
But following society’s rigid dating rule-book will do nothing but rob you the chances of meeting someone outside your social circle who may be a great match for you.
Society prioritizes settling down instead of being with the right person. You are pressured to get married before you are too old not when you find the right person. It is more acceptable to be married and unhappy about the time you are 30 than remaining single and happy.
This society would rather force you to marry the wrong person before a certain age than marry the right one later. For some people, the need to be accepted by society often outweighs the need to find the right life partner.
Another mistake people make while choosing a life partner is racing against the biological clock. For women, it’s particularly cruel if they want to have biological children with their husbands. It sets a time frame for them to select a life partner, usually before they turn 40.
What these ladies refuse to understand is that it is already stressful enough finding a life partner without having to worry about risky pregnancies and menopause, the added pressure pushes them to rush. However, you might be happier adopting children with the right partner than having biological ones with the wrong one.
Another mistake people make while choosing life partners is not completely sorting out their past. It is not right to get married and still be thinking about hooking up with your ex. If you loved your ex so much, why didn’t you marry him or her?
You shouldn’t get married and still be imagining your life with your ex or asking how to forget your ex on different social media platforms. This is what you get when you keep jumping from one relationship to other without completely sorting out the past. Marriage is a big decision and should be made only when you are completely sure about your feelings.
Another mistake some people make when choosing life partners is assuming that marriage will change a person. If you think that marriage is some magic wand that will change your partner, abandon that idea. Don’t mess up your life.
As a matter of fact, marriage significantly amplifies the negative traits in a person. If you hate smoking, and he or she’s a smoker, there’s a good possibility that they would resume that behavior, even if they had quit it for the sake of wedding.
If the man you are planning to marry slaps and disrespects you without blinking, marriage won’t change him. He will beat you until you see your ancestors when you eventually marry him. The ring won’t change him, don’t be fooled.